CANADA—After having lived in Canada for a couple of years, I must say I really miss a lot of things back home. Here are the top ten on my list:
Family – We have no immediate relatives with us here and surely being away from my mom, brothers, sister, in-laws, nieces, and nephews is difficult. We would celebrate special occasions like Christmas, New Year’s Day, and birthdays on our own. My kids really miss doing fun stuff with all their cousins—things like getting together on birthdays, going to Manila Memorial Park to visit my dad, summer outings, and gift giving during the holidays.
Friends – I have so many who go all the way back to high school and I have maintained a very special relationship with them through the years. It would be nice to spend time just chatting about everyday life, sharing your problems, or just having someone to listen. Sometimes I still get this feeling of guilt for not being there when I hear about the death of a mother or sister of one of my friends, someone getting really sick or having marital problems. Somehow, I feel I want to reach out as much as I could and make them realize I am still here for them.
My helpers – When I find myself confronted with too much laundry or ironing to do or when I do not feel like waking up early to prepare breakfast or just wanting to take a nap because I am too tired, the more I wish I had them here. My kids would often call out their names as well when there are lots of pots, pans, and dishes to clean.
Beauty parlor and spa – Having been a weekly regular for manicure, pedicure, foot spa, hair spa, body massage, and body scrub, I struggled to give this up. I have managed to cope by learning to do my own nails and the weekly foot scrub and body scrub. That is why I only go to the parlor every three months now for my haircut. I have also learned how to color my hair. My extended health care covers massage therapy but only to a certain extent as I have to pay beyond the amount covered.
Wet market – I miss buying fresh meat and seafood from the public market in Parañaque. I have to go to the Chinese grocery here to get kenchi for mechado or braising ribs for sinigang. For fresh seafood it is either the Fishermen’s wharf in Richmond or Granville Island. I also miss the various native delicacies like pichi pichi, biko, puto bumbong, kutchinta. Wow…thinking of these sure makes me hungry!
Divisoria – I would usually hunt for good bargains here in October. I remember bringing home at least three big Winnie the Pooh bags (the ones made of plastic sack) filled with lots of stuff from T-shirts to trinkets to school supplies. Sometimes when I see some of these items in the dollar store here, I always say I can get that a lot cheaper from Divi!
Misa de Gallo and Visita Iglesia – Although I live across the street from the Catholic church, the parish here still does not have the Misa de Gallo. The ones we do have are the midnight masses for Christmas and New Year’s Eve although a lot of times, there are only a few attendees especially when there is a heavy snowfall like what happened last year. During Lent, only the Filipinos here do the Visita Iglesia. Most of the churches close right after the Last Supper Mass and on Good Friday so you have to start doing the rounds of the churches before the mass on Maundy Thursday.
Beach – Nothing matches our beautiful beaches! Even Tali Beach in Nasugbu is way better than what we have here. There may be lakes but the water is still so cold. I can never take a dip in the lake or the beach especially if the wind is blowing. I will surely freeze!
Mangoes and bananas – I bought a few mangoes that they advertise as Philippine style mangoes that come from Mexico but it does not even come close to the taste of our mangoes. The only ones I enjoy are those that are similar to our Indian mangoes. I have not found any of our famous latundan bananas here. The most common available in the groceries are the lacatan variety. Even the plantain bananas which some say are the equivalent of our saba does not taste the same. The original saba is available only in the Filipino shops or some Chinese stores carry the frozen ones.
Showbiz talk shows – Some may find it stupid but I enjoy keeping up-to-date with showbiz news. I must admit I frequent the local showbiz websites every day. Must be my way of de-stressing.
Of course there are those things that I can do without:
Heat – I cannot imagine myself enduring 34 or 36 degrees Celsius and all the humidity again. I remember before when we go out, having the Good Morning towel packed in the bags is a must because all my kids sweat like crazy under the heat. One good thing that happened to us when we moved here is not getting asthma attacks anymore.
Traffic – This is one thing I will not miss for sure! I hate sitting in the traffic with no alternative route to go because all roads are packed.
Floods – I lived in a flood-prone area and the heavy rain always gave me a fright when it pours. I constantly monitored the weather news and even high tide and low tide hours during the rainy season. I always made sure I have the big Chinese calendar showing the phases of the moon and the tide hours. I developed a phobia for the rain that I did not feel like going out when a tropical depression is forecast.
Snatchers, hold-uppers and dugo-dugo gangs – With all the experiences I have had and stories I heard about these guys, I have yet to learn to let my guard down when I take public transport or walk the streets at night here.
Corruption – There may be some going on here but nothing compares to what goes in our government agencies where there is also a lot of red tape. The thing that bothers me most is when I hear news about donations for calamity victims that get diverted somewhere else. It makes me wonder, have you got any compassion in your hearts at all?
Oh well of course, after all is said and done I still regard the Philippines as home.
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Countdown to 15 things I miss about the Philippines
By Lurenda Suplido-Westergaard, M.D.
INQUIRER.net,12/26/07 *Editor’s Note: The author migrated to her husband’s Denmark with their toddler just this year.
15. Taking a taxi out of the supermarket — First of all, taking a taxi is very expensive (more about public transport later), but what I really miss is having an attendant actually carry the stuff out, wait with you as you enter the taxi line, and load up the goods. That kind of service doesn’t exist here. Heck, they don’t even give you free shopping bags at the supermarket: You have to bring your own, or they charge you for each one you take.
14. Being able to drive — First, no license. Second, can’t afford to buy a car (at 200-percent tax, never mind). Third, I easily get lost (one open field looks just like any other). Fourth, I can’t imagine myself filling up at a gas station (me holding the gas nozzle? Ewwww!). Fifth, I wouldn’t know what to do if there’s a solid sheet of ice on the windshield.
13. Taking two minutes to dress up Alex in sando (undershirt), shorts, and sandals — Here: underpants, long socks, normal socks, long pants, t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, sweater, gloves, winter coveralls, boots, hood. Minimum: 30 minutes. If he’s not cooperative, this takes an hour. Pagod na ako, hindi pa kami nakakalabas ng pinto (We’ve not gone out the door and already I’m tired)!
12. Being able to blend in — Almost the entire indigenous population is blonde, and I get a sense that all women are at least 5′8″. People don’t stare (as we do at foreigners in Pinas, out of a naive curiosity rather than rudeness), but it is not possible to just pass through here unnoticed. This is especially uncomfortable for someone with a self-conscious streak. Of course there are deeper issues here: It’s about being in the minority. The last place where I lived abroad for an extended period was Singapore, where I could pass myself off as a local. There are very few Asians from the south, south east, north east, far east. Asia here means near east or middle east (think Turkey and Iran). Naku, the only time I see people of Chinese stock is when I’m in a Chinese restaurant (the waitresses). Here, there’s a Ministry of Refugee, Immigration and Integration Affairs, which tells me there are issues that need an entire government department to address.
11. Long mall hours — Everything is closed by 6 or 7 p.m. on weekdays, by 3 p.m. on Saturdays. And there’s nothing open on Sundays (except on eight Sundays of the year)! What happened to shopping after work? Or sitting in coffee shops till midnight? I’m told it’s because family life (being at home) is so central to living that commercial establishments have to let their employees go and enjoy it.
10. People with a more friendly sense of personal space — Having grown up riding jeepneys (and buses on pre-MRT EDSA), I think nothing of being packed like a sardine in public transport, thighs squished together on both sides. One time I sat beside an old man on a public bus, I swear he gave me an elbow (okay, he might have had Parkinson’s). But there was another time when I reached over to press the stop button and the lady beside me raised her arms in a defensive move, like preparing for a karate chop (okay, maybe she was physically abused in the past). In a half-full bus, I see people electing to stay standing. Those who sit together in the two-seater row are friends, not strangers.
9. Minimum fare of P7.50 — Here it’s P96.00 (that’s on buses/trains where you can have unlimited transfers within two adjacent geographical areas over one hour; but you still pay the same minimum fare even if you’re just going for a five-minute ride).
8. Temperatures above 20 degrees — This is a country where the average annual temperature is seven degrees Celsius. Haaaay! Apat na patong ng damit, nanunuot pa rin ang lamig. Bawiin ang Nobel Peace Prize ni Al Gore (Four layers of clothes and the cold still seeps in. Get back Al Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize)!
7. Policemen — Never thought I’d say this, but I miss seeing policemen, armed security guards, traffic enforcers, and the "friskers" at the entrances of malls and LRT stations. Not that I long for their presence; it’s their absence that is disconcerting. In my one month’s stay here, I swear I’ve only seen one policeman (his partner, the driver of the police car, was female). At the police station where I had to report my presence, the staff were all women. There are lots of cameras on public transportation and highways, still, getting the personal touch is different (hahaha).
6. 12-percent VAT — That sounds good if you now have to pay 25 percent.
5. McDo, Pizza Hut, Don Henrico’s, Jollibee, Max’s, and all restaurants who deliver even if you’re just ordering food for one. Corollary to that is having hot meals three times a day (at least). — Here, it’s buttered bread and yoghurt for breakfast, cold cuts sandwich for lunch, and a hot meal for dinner. Ack! Walang ginataang bilu-bilo na meryenda sa umaga at walang pancit malabon na meryenda sa hapon (No Filipino snacks in the morning and afternoon)!
4. Going to the movies — This is a country with the most expensive movie theater tickets in the world, and the theaters are far from where I live (well not really far, but I would be spending more than minimum fare; add that to the cost of movie tickets.).
3. Filipinos — I’ve only seen one Pinoy (plus two on many previous visits) in the streets. This is not a preferred destination for overseas workers because taxes take out at least 40 percent of your income (closer to 60 percent total), and then there’s VAT. It’s great if you live here, retire here, and your entire family is supported by the social system (with free education and health care), but it’s near impossible to send money to relatives back home.
2. Filipino the language — The sound of Filipino is heavy on hard T’s, K’s, D’s, and short A’s; what you hear is what you spell (and the other way around). Here there are all kinds of rolling R’s and soft D’s; H’s and V’s that are barely there. Sabihin mo nga sa akin kung paanong naging "mal" ang pagbigkas ng "meget" (Just tell me how "mal" becomes "meget" when spoken)? I’m told that everyone understands English, but they won’t volunteer that. They will speak their language until you say that you can’t speak it yourself.
1. Daylight — Alas-tres pa lang madilim na (It’s just three o’clock in the afternoon and it’s already dark)! Now the days are at their shortest (supposedly seven hours, but it’s really not daylight, more like dusk all day). Losing light is like being hungry — I feel crabby, tired, and a bit sorry for myself. I never knew I subsisted on photosynthesis. There are gadgets for sale that simulate daylight. There’s a new alarm clock on the market that comes with a big wakeup light that’s supposed to be like the dawn. I think this is the hardest for me to get used to. It’s not about being afraid of the dark, it’s about not having the sun streaming through the windows when it should. Someone told me that when there is light, I should go out and soak up as much of it as I can. Pero kung balot na balot naman ako, eh di noo at pisngi lang ang pwedeng mag-sunbathing (But if I’m covered in clothes, it’s just my forehead and cheeks that get to sun-bathe)!