YANO YAN AY!
Calauag Association of Canada Annual Picnic @Toronto - September 4, 2010 ROZELL Road (off Port Union Rd.) Scarborough, ONTARIO
Potluck, bring your own drinks.
CCC Alumni 2011 
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Article of the Day
| Gap Year | |
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opting to take a year off to travel before continuing their education or entering the workplace. Known as a gap year, among many other names, the prolonged break—often but not always lasting a year—is usually spent working, learning a language, or combining activities into a so-called working holiday. Another popular option for "gappers" is a growing trend called "voluntourism," which is what? This day in history
| Terry Fox's Marathon of Hope Ends in Ontario (1980) | |
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Today's birthday
| Edgar Rice Burroughs (1875) | |
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After working numerous odd jobs, Burroughs tried his hand at writing, publishing his first  story under the pen name Normal Bean in 1912. Two years later, he published Tarzan of the Apes, a story about an English boy raised by apes in Africa. Wildly successful, the book was the first in a series of 27 Tarzan titles. Burroughs later moved to Hollywood to supervise the filming of the first of the extremely successful Tarzan films. What city is named after his most famous character? More... | |
Computer funnies
HUWAG MALIBOK
JOEkS Laang
ETERNAL QUESTIONS
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
The Smartest Dog!
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that that was pretty smart.
The accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.
Everyone agreed that that was good.
The chemist said that his dog could do better still. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.
Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?"
The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers' compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
They all agreed that that was brilliant!
Home vs Prison
In prison, you get three square meals a day.
At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.
In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.
At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can't sleep without his latest lego creation.
In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.
At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.
In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.
At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.
In prison, all your medical care is free.
At home, you have to pawn your mother's silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.
In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.
At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.
In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.
At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else's space, too, and what the heck is free time again?
In prison, you get your own personal toilet.
At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you're done so you can do something for them.
In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.
At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else's, and get yelled at because somebody's favorite shirt isn't clean.
In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.
At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.
In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.
At home, you have to lug around everybody else's stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.
In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn't.
At home....stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?
ATORNI: Bakit ngayon mo lang siya naisipang hiwalayan?
MISTER: Asintado na kasi siya, eh!
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MISIS: Walang hiya kang lalaki ka! May kabit ka palang 18 anyos!
MISTER: Huli ka na sa balita! 23 na siya ngayon!
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KASAL...
PARI: Ikaw, lalaki, tinatanggap mo bang maging kabiyak ang taong ito habambuhay?
LALAKI: Opo, Father!
PARI: At ikaw naman, malanding baklang pokpok na mukhang kabayo, akala mo siguro, ang ganda mo sa gown mo, ‘no?! Tinatanggap mo ba ang lalaking ito na hindi ka magsisisi kahit magkabaun-baon ka pa sa utang sa pagsusustento sa kanya?! Ha?! Sagot agad!!!
BAKLA: Father! Sabihin ninyo kung tutol kayo sa kasal na ito kesa naman tumatalak ka diyan nang bonggang-bongga, naka-mike ka pa naman!
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BADING: I’ve experienced so much happiness since you came into my life. No one can ever replace you here in my heart. Though many things are running through your head and you’re thinking that you mean nothing to me, just keep in mind that I’m still the same gay who loves you and cares for you the best way I can, and nothing can ever stop that. You will always be my inspiration, the anchor of my aspirations, the reason for my existence!
BOY: Ah, ok. Ano gawa mo? Load mo ‘ko.
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BOY: Pangit ba ako?
GIRL: Walang ginawang pangit ang Diyos… Ewan ko lang kung sino ang gumawa sa ‘yo!
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Hinagpis ng mga driver…
BUS DRIVER: Nagsakay ako ng pasahero sa Loading Bay. Hinuli ako! Ang violation… 3 SECONDS! Matagal daw akong magsakay!
TAXI DRIVER: Kakanan ako kaya sa inner lane ako dumaan. Hinuli rin ako, kasi, sa bus lang daw ‘yun. Ang violation… ILLEGAL TRAVEL.
JEEPNEY DRIVER: Ako nga, larga viaje na nang biglang mag-red light. Naihinto ko naman. Kaya lang, hinuli pa rin ako. Nasa guhit daw kasi ang gulong ko sa unahan. Ang violation… STEPPING daw!
KALESA DRIVER: Ako naman, basta pinahinto na lang. Nang itanong ko kung anong violation ko… ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE raw!
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POL: Hindi ka ba nahirapang bumoto?
DOY: Hindi… para lang tumaya sa lotto.
POL: Bakit kaya hindi nabilang ang boto ko?
DOY: Paano ka ba bumoto?
POL: Ni-Lucky Pick ko!
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SHIP CAPTAIN: Magsikapit kayo! Lulubog ang barko!
MGA TAO: Waaahhh! (kumapit)
SHIP CAPTAIN: Teka! Bakit sa akin kayo kumakapit?
MGA TAO: ‘Di ba, kayo ang… kapitan?!
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Walang taong perpekto…
Kaya kung feeling mo, perpekto ka… puwes, hindi ka tao!
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Nakakatuwang isipin na halos lahat, gustong mapunta sa langit…
Walang namang gustong mauna!
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A LITTLE BOY
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....
Pessimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.
Optimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, and repeat
Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
She'll evolve.
Statistician:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's Fan:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over Possessive:
If you love somebody don't set her free.
JOKE OF THE YEAR
MISIS: Labindalawa! Lalaki lahat! Jomar ang pangalan nilang lahat para isang tawag lang, lahat eh lalapit na!
TAGA-SURVEY: Paano ho kung isa lang ang kailangan ninyo?
MISIS: Tatawagin ko sa apelyido.
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Nag-reunion ang dating magkakaklase…
GLENDA: Di ba, kayong mga lalaki, crush n’yo ‘ko nu’ng Grade 2 pa tayo?!
MGA LALAKI: Oo! Kasi, hindi pa namin alam noon ang salitang maganda!
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MAG-BEST FRIEND…
LITTLE BOY: Paglaki ko, gusto kong maging basurero!
LITTLE GIRL: Bakit naman?
LITTLE BOY: Para ako ang pupulot sa ‘yo kapag ibinasura ka ng taong mahal mo.
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Teacher: Translate this in Tagalog: “I was the happiest person in the world when I saw her face!”
Student: “Ako ‘yung pinakamaligayang tao sa mundo nu’ng nilagare ko ang mukha niya!”
Why ENGLISH is so Hard to Learn
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Multiple Meanings
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP ! our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP! the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll! wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so..........
Time to shut UP!
Motivation & Inspiration
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When
When your reasons to move forward outweigh your excuses for staying put, you will move forward. When your thirst for success is more powerful than the desire to stay within your comfort zone, you will succeed.
When the reward is meaningful enough, you will act. When you connect your deepest purpose with the goals you set, those goals will be achieved.
When you understand that there is a real and accessible pathway to the most magnificent dreams you can dream, you'll get yourself on that path. When you know without a doubt that every action has a consequence, you'll focus all your actions in a positive and valuable direction.
When you love what you do, you'll do it with grace and ease and excellence. When you do what you love, you'll provide a steady stream of unique and extraordinary gifts to life.
When you are completely clear about why, you'll be able to figure out how. When you let go of the need to need, you'll fall into a massive sea of beautiful abundance.
When you are ready, life is here to fully live. Choose it, and now is when.
Let it go
The trivial annoyances, even though they are virtually meaningless, can overwhelm you if you let them. Choose not to let them.
Be diligent about the things that truly matter, and be very flexible about the things that don't. There's no sense in wasting your precious time arguing or agonizing about something that doesn't really make a difference anyway.
Learn to let go, and to rise above the petty squabbles. You'll end up with much more time and energy available to work on the really important things.
Instead of carrying around your frustrations like so many trophies, choose to leave all the small, insignificant ones behind. You won't impress anyone by constantly complaining, and it won't add value to your life, so let it go.
You have much more meaningful and important issues upon which to focus your time and energy. Spend your moments truly living.
Get in the habit of letting go of the small, meaningless matters. And delight in the freedom, effectiveness and peace that you create for your life.
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Contribute to life
Always, there is something you can contribute to life. In every place and time and situation, there is a way for you to make a positive difference.
In whatever you are able to offer, there is bountiful opportunity. For the value you give comes back to you over and over again.
The way to bring out the best in others is to put your own best abilities into action. The way to truly learn is to teach.
Every achievement is built upon the steady and focused creation of value. Learn to see each moment as an opportunity to create meaningful value, and your life will be filled with astonishing achievements.
When so many others are preoccupied with what they can get, choose to focus your own thoughts on what and how you can most effectively give. That is the path to real and lasting abundance.
The quality of the life you live has everything to do with what you're willing to give. Contribute your own special value to life, and you'll discover it's the best investment you could ever make.
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Live by intention
Think before you do. Don't just automatically react to life or live by blind habit.
Think about what you're about to do, and think about the consequences. Remember that when you choose the action, you're also choosing all the things that result from that action.
When you choose to eat half a dozen doughnuts, you're choosing to put fat on your body. When you choose to be sloppy with your work, you're choosing to sabotage your own career.
When you choose to rise early and start getting things done, you're choosing to create real and lasting value in your own life and in the world around you. When you choose to stay focused on an important task, you're choosing to enjoy the rewards that come from real accomplishment.
Live your life based on your own best intentions. Each action you take has very real consequences, and you are in a position to select the exact consequences that you wish to bring about.
It only takes a brief moment to think before you act. Do it every time, and your life will follow the precise path you choose.
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Prepare the way
On its own, this day is filled with immense value. And in addition, this day gives you the opportunity to prepare for the days and the years to come.
Living this day with purpose, gratitude, love and integrity will provide you with a double reward. Not only do you make this day the most fulfilling it can be right now, you also prepare yourself in the best possible way for the days that follow.
Nothing is more frustrating than to have the opportunity of a lifetime come along when you are not prepared to seize its promise. You don't have to let that happen to you.
For each day is an opportunity to live fully and to prepare diligently. The two go hand in hand.
By making the most of every moment, you are putting yourself in position to fulfill the best possibilities when they open up to you. Always keep in mind that what you do today sets the stage for your tomorrow.
Fill this day with positive purpose, focused effort and all the joy you can give. And you'll prepare the way for an even brighter future.
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Keep moving
When the path becomes difficult, that's no reason to give up. In fact, it means you're making real progress.
The mountain becomes more rugged and steep the closer you get to the summit. Keep going, keep climbing, keep making the effort, and soon you'll find yourself reaching the top.
The challenges you encounter are unquestionable proof that you're making a positive difference. Make use of those challenges, not as an excuse to stop, but rather as a platform from which to push forward.
For the greatest achievements come in response to the greatest challenges. When the going gets rough, you are most certainly in the presence of profound opportunity.
When there is much that must be done, there is enormous value waiting to be created. Step boldly forward and claim that value.
Whatever may come, whatever may seem to block your path, choose to keep moving. There are truly magnificent rewards just on the other side of your persistent efforts.
YANO YAN AY!
